LEADERSHIP TRAINING MANUAL 5

                              THE VITAL ROLE OF RELATIIONSHIP IN LEADERHIP                           

  (CULTIVATING PEOPLE’S SKILLS IN YOUR LEADERSHIP)

“For I have left you an example that you should do as I have done to you.” (Jn.13:15)

Clearly, no one exemplified people skill better than Jesus, Himself. Everywhere he went, people followed him. Why? Because it was obvious that people were his passion. He met their needs wherever he encountered them. Jesus touched people physically, spiritually and emotionally.

The basis of leadership is people. If you cannot relate with people, they won’t follow you. Relationships will make or break a leader over time. To effective leaders, success means developing people.

FOUR TRUTHS ABOUT LEADERSHIP AND PEOPLE

1)    People are a Church most appreciated ASSET.

2)    A leader’s most important asset is PEOPLE SKILLS.

3)    A good leader can lead various groups because leadership is about PEOPLE.

4)    You can have people skill without being a good leader but you can’t be a good leader without having people skills.

THE ANALOGY OF THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN

 Luke 10:30-37. In this parable, Jesus taught that relationship and ministry are not confined to your immediate circle of friends. Those relationships are more important than any spiritual activities we practice. (Matthew 5:23-24)

He also taught the truth below:

The story illustrates how we treat people based on how we see ourselves. Notice the different ways the victimized man was treated in this story…

1)    THE ROBBERS: They used people; they manipulated others; they saw the man as A VICTIM TO EXPLOIT.

2)    THE PRIEST: They were law keepers, they were pure, and they saw the man as A PROBLEM TO AVOID.

3)    THE SAMARITAN: He was despised, he knew how it felt to be ignored, and he saw the man as A PERSON TO BE LOVED.

LEADERSHIP AND RELATIONSHIPS

What separates us from other religions in the world is the centrality of relationship. Our faith is built on relationships and not on creeds or disciplines. When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He said we are to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and might and our neighbours as ourselves. This is how we are identified as his disciples.

QUESTIONS:  Think of the most difficult people to love in your life. Why are they difficult to love? How do you view them? How can you begin to see the way the Samaritan saw?

A DEFINTION OF SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP

One who assumes responsibility for the health and development of his relationships.

Four word pictures

1)    The analogy of the GOOD HOST: A good host takes initiative and makes others feel comfortable. Knowing what a good host does in his house, he ought to be able to do it with people everywhere.

2)    The analogy of the GOOD DOCTOR: Good doctors ask questions, they probe until they see the need. Then they can address the need with a prescription.

3)    The analogy of a GOOD COUNSELLOR: Good Counsellors are active listeners and interpret what they hear. You should non-verbally communicate, understand a person and identify with them. We earn our right to speak by listening.

4)    The analogy of the TOUR GUIDE: Guides do not merely fellowship with others; they also get them to their destination. Our purpose is not to be liked by people, but to take them on a journey to reach a goal they might not have reached alone.

WHAT EVERY LEADER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE

1.     People are INSECURE, give them confidence. Hurting people hurt people. Secure people offer security to people. Most people are insecure in some areas of their lives and are looking for security and a secure environment can only be provided by a secure and confident person. Hebrews 10:25

2.     People like to feel SPECIAL, honour them. To deal with yourself, use your head, to deal with others, use your heart. When you affirm and honour someone with words, make them:

Ø SINCERE: Be genuine about what to say

Ø SPECIFIC: Be pointed and specific about what you say

Ø PUBLIC: Share the honouring word in front of others

Ø PERSONAL: Get beyond general gratitude. Speak personally to them. Romans 12:10

3.     People look for a better TOMORROW, give them hope. The key to today is a belief in tomorrow. Everyone lives for something to come. A research conducted on the secrets of successful Pastors’ success reveals that they offer hope to their people. Lam. 3:21-23

4.     People need to be UNDERSTOOD, listen to them. To discern someone’s heart, find out the following:

Ø What do they talk about?

Ø What do they cry about?

Ø What do they dream about?

Ø What do they laugh about?

Ø What do they plan about?

5. People lack DIRECTION, navigate for them. Most people can stir the ship but only a leader can chart the course. Leaders must KNOW the way, go the way and show the way. 1Pet. 5:1-2

2.     People are NEEDY, speak to their needs first. People must be ministered to before they can minister:

MOST PEOPLE THINK…	LEADERS MUST…
Their situations are unique	Put their people first
Their problems are the biggest	Know their people’s need
Their faults should be overlooked	See the total picture
Their time is most precious	Love people to help them grow. Phlp. 2:4

7. People get EMMOTIONALLY LOW, encourage them. What gets rewarded gets done. Encouragement enables people to tolerate twice more than when they are not encouraged. Col. 3:12-13    

8. People want to SUCCEED, help them win. Reach out and help others achieve their goals. Victory has a thousand fathers, defeat is an orphan. What do the following words have in common: high morale, enthusiasm, momentum, optimism, energy and excitement?

VICTORY! Everyone wants to be in a team that experiences victory and reaches the goal they are pursuing. Leaders provide this for others. Ecc. 4:9-10.

9. People desire RELATIONSHIPS, provide them community. Practice the 101% principle with people. Find out the 1% you have in common and give it your 100% attention.

  

 10. People seek MODELS to follow, be an example. People do what they see. Saint Francis of Assisi said “preach the gospel at all times; if possible, use words”